


Second Chances

by jamiethefox



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, M/M, Neil and Andrew had horrible lives, No beta reader, Slow Burn, We Die Like Men, Wymack wants to help but also it's above his pay grade, all of the rape and violence is in the past, not even the foxes know what happened between Andrew and Neil, not exactly the same as canon but close
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:20:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23774488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamiethefox/pseuds/jamiethefox
Summary: Neil Josten and Andrew Minyard, professional exy players on opposing teams. Neil can’t stand Andrew’s lack of passion for the sport, Andrew can’t stand how Neil lives and breathes it. Everyone knows they can’t stand each, what no one knows is they used to mean everything to each other. But now they’re on the US team together and must find a way to make peace with the past and play together. Is there a way they could mean everything to each other again?
Relationships: Abby Winfield/David Wymack, Jean Moreau/Renee Walker, Kevin Day/Thea Muldani, Matt Boyd/Danielle "Dan" Wilds, Neil Josten & Andrew Minyard, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 34
Kudos: 78





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi friends, welcome to my first every AFTG fic! I'm excited to be writing about these amazing characters that I hold so dear to my heart.
> 
> All rights to the characters and world of exy belong to the amazing Nora!

Neil turns his head to avoid the cigarette smoke being blown by the woman on the corner. Once upon a time he would have turned his head towards the smoke and inhaled deeply. Hell, once he would have been the one standing on the corner with a lit cig between his fingers. Not inhaling the smoke through his mouth, but through his nose.

It used to be the most calming scent he knew. Reminding him of his mother. Now it reminded him only of the boy who he had given everything to. The boy who he had lost and could not get away from.

_“Tell me you’re not running. Promise me.”_

_“No more running. I promise. I’m done, I’m here for good.”_

_It was a lie._

His phone lit up with a notification. The South Carolina Razorbacks game would be starting in ten minutes. Tonight they’d be playing the Oakland Hawks, and it was for the championships. Neil didn’t normally get a chance to watch the Razorbacks’ games, but his team had lost to the Hawks in the last round of the playoffs and that ended their season. This meant this week he got to just watch, something he hadn’t been able to do in a long time.

He waved to his doorman as he walked past him and to the elevator. When he got into his room King immediately came over and started weaving between his legs. Neil smiled for the first time that day as he knelt down to pet him.

He cooed to the cat as he went into the kitchen to give them both some food. Then he sat on his couch and turned on the TV to ESPN. Friday night was exy night, and the announcers were already going over all of the lineups for the night.

“...zorbacks are going to be a tough one to beat,” the announcer was mid sentence when Neil turned it on, “considering they have Minyard in their goal.”

“But Minyard might just be the best goalie to go against for them.” Allison Reynolds shot back. “He’s known to barely put in any effort and I could see him doing that tonight out of spite.”

Allison knew this better than most, afterall she had played with Andrew on the PSU Foxes back in college. Neil could hear annoyance in her voice as she said this and he couldn’t help but smile. She had never gotten over the time she let a striker by her only to have her score on a goal that Andrew hadn’t deemed worthy of protection. Allison had been furious after that and Neil had given Andrew a favor on credit to make him promise to never do it again.

One of the many favors Andrew had never had a chance to cash in.

Thoughts of the game he and Adrew once shared immediately wiped the smile from his face.

“True. But he knows that the Dingoes just lost to them last week. He won’t want to lose to a team that the Dingoes just lost to.” He was smirking as he said this and Allison had to agree.

The New York Dingoes, the team that Neil himself was on. That’s why the announcer figured Andrew would want to beat that team, because he knew he’d want to come out better than Neil.

The whole exy world knew about Neil and Andrew’s rivalry and they all loved every second of it. From snarky tweets, to rude comments on instagram, and even harsh words spoken in interviews. The fans couldn’t get enough of the hatred between the best goalie in the league and one of the best strikers.

Especially because everyone knew that at one point they had been teammates and even friends.

Or as close to friends as anyone could be with Andrew.

No one knew why their friendship moved to hatred and as much as people speculated, neither Neil nor Andrew would ever speak on it. This just made everyone more curious and the theories were insane.

What no one knew was that they hadn’t been friends when on the Foxes together, not really. No, they had been so much more.

Neil could still remember the press of Andrew’s lips, the way they would just sit silently together on the roof when one of them was having a bad night, the safety he felt with him. The absolute devastation he felt when he knew he’d have to leave.

He shook the thoughts from his head as King jumped up on the couch with him, curling into his side. The teams were lining up as the national anthem was sung.

Finally the countdown clock ended and the game began.

Neil watched with intense focus as the game went on. Andrew was blocking goals, but he could tell he did it with barely any effort and it infuriated him. One shot Andrew let whirl past him and it hit an inch above the goal.

Neil had never been able to stomach the way that Andrew didn’t care. Not about exy, and not about himself.

When halftime came he opened twitter, unable to hide his rage any longer.

NJosten: If only @aminyard would put in some effort, then the championship might be more fun to watch.

As soon as he posted it he heard the announcer talk about it on TV.

“Alright now we are talking! We have the first tweet of the night from Josten. Obviously he is unimpressed by Minyard’s unenthusiastic performance tonight. Seems he too thinks he’s only keeping the goals out so his team comes out on top of the Dingoes.”

Allison went to speak, but her co-host cut her off with excitement. “And Minyard has responded! Oh this is great!”

Neil immediately refreshed his twitter feed. Two hundred likes already and dozens of retweets with comments. The one from Andrew sat on top, already with a hundred likes.

aminyard reply to @NJosten: at least your team was eliminated from their poor performance last week, if we were forced to play your awful team there would really be no fun.

Neil saw red.

He started typing out “fuck you” in response but stopped himself. Someone would be reaching out in the next few days about whether he made the US team for this summer’s olympics. He could not, would not, risk his place over a petty twitter war with Andrew.

\--

The game ended with Andrew’s team victorious. He had not let a single goal in, even when the other team had grown desperate and vicious at the end. One player going as far as to actually slam into Andrew and receiving a red card. Fouling a goalie was the worst penalty anyone could conduct in the game.

That play had Neil reaching for his phone and before he could stop himself he had sent out another tweet.

NJosten: I wouldn’t have had to make such a disgusting play to score on @aminyard. Pathetic.

Neil knew that the reporters would focus on the first part where it sounds like Neil is boasting that he could score on Andrew without cheating. That Andrew wasn’t worth the foul.

“Look at Josten running his mouth again,” they’d say, “insulting both parties in one tweet. He can’t even say something nice about Minyard when fouled in such a way.” They would spin it to make him seem like a jackass who hated Minyard.

Two things that were true. But what they wouldn’t see was the anger Neil felt over someone hurting Andrew like that.

The fear he felt when he saw Andrew immediately tense after being touched like that.

The blind desire he had to carve that man to ribbons and listen to him beg.

No, no one would be able to decipher any of that from his tweet.

Definitely not Andrew.

\--

Neil felt a small bit of pride when the final buzzer went off and could not help the smile that overtook his face. Andrew had done it.

He wanted to text him to congratulate him, but he didn’t dare. 

For one thing, he didn’t even know if Andrew’s number was the same as it was three years ago when Neil graduated. When things went to shit.

For another thing he didn’t know if Andrew would want his congratulations, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to give them. Sure, he could be happy for him, but he couldn’t ignore the bitterness he felt too. Bitter that it wasn’t him who had won. Bitter that Andrew probably didn’t even care.

Bitter that he couldn’t share the moment with him.

Neil turned off the lights and joined King on the bed to drift off into sleep.

\--

Three days later the phone call came.

Coach Wymack, the chosen coach for the US team, was making the calls and Neil was thrilled to hear from him. He hadn’t known Wymack would be the coach, but he couldn’t wait. He missed Coach Wymack and knew that he could lead them to victory, just as he had done with the foxes.

“You’re in.” It was short and simple, and Neil’s heart exploded.

Wymack, who knew Neil quite well from their five years together at PSU, was able to interpret the heavy silence. “Congratulations Neil, four months of practice and then we kick some ass.”

Neil’s smile stretched across his whole face. He needed to run, he needed to get out all of this energy, but first…

“Who else? Who else made the team?”

Wymack was silent. “See ya soon kid.” And he hung up.

Neil knew what that meant and wasn’t sure how to take it.

Next week he would leave to West Virginia to practice at Evermore and he knew who would be waiting for him when he got there.

Andrew.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil shows up to the first practice for the US team and it's not a happy reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter already?!? I know, I don't think you should get used to this, but it is quarantine so maybe I'll be able to keep posting a lot? Who knows. Anyway, onto the chapter!

**_Eight Years Ago_ **

The first time Neil met Andrew he felt like he was unable to breathe.

Granted, that was because Andrew decided to introduce a stolen racket to Neil’s gut, and made him literally unable to breathe. As Neil raised his head to glare at the man who had hit him, he could feel his eyes widen in shock.

The grin on the short blonde’s face was sharp and cruel. It had been a long time since Neil had seen a grin so vicious, and he had been hoping to never see one again.

_Did you really think you could run forever Junior?_

Neil could still hear the short scream of his mother as knife met skin.

Still hear the sound he skin made as he tried to move her from the car.

Still smell the smoke and charred flesh as he set the car aflame.

Neil focused on the boy in front of him.

Blonde hair, not copper. Hazel eyes, not blue. Manic smile, not sadistic.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Neil snapped as he tried to get air back into his lungs. He tentatively felt around his ribs. Bruised, not broken. He’d broken bones enough to know the difference.

“Oh little rabbit has some bite.” The grin widened. “Look Kevin, that’s what a backbone looks like.”

Neil tried not to, he really did, but his eyes cut to the side to see Coach Wymack and Kevin Day approaching him again. Kevin with annoyance on his face, the coach only with exasperation.

“Andrew what did I say. You were only allowed to come if you didn’t lay a hand on the kid.” The calmness of his voice let Neil know that this was a common discussion he had with the goalkeeper.

“I didn’t lay a hand on him coach, only a racket.” Andrew slipped an innocent look on his face that fooled no one, especially as it quickly gave way to another grin. “What did you want me to do? He was running away, trying to escape. I couldn’t let that happen. Had to think of the team. You know I’m a team player.”

“Team player my ass.” Wymack grumbled as he shot Andrew a look. Neil was surprised when the goalkeeper rolled his eyes, but stood down, resting his chin on top of the net of his racket. “Look kid, I’m sorry about Andrew, but I’d be lying if I said it might not happen again. I can’t offer you much. We aren’t the best ranked team, hell, we are dead fucking last. But I can offer you a spot on our line, a room to stay in, and a chance.”

A chance.

The word echoed in Neil’s head. Not a chance to live, no one could offer him that, but a chance to play. A chance to just _be._

Before he could help himself he was signing on the dotted line. Agreeing to go to PSU, agreeing to play for the foxes, agreeing to go as soon as he graduated.

Agreeing to be Neil Josten for as long as he could.

Neil ignored the heated eyes of Kevin as he signed his life away. Ignored the desperation he felt to really look at him. To figure out what he remembered. To make sure he did not see Nathaniel beneath the hair dye and fake contacts.

Instead when his eyes lifted they met with Andrew’s, and he watched the slow, cruel smile spread across his face.

\--

**Present Day**

The first time Neil saw Andrew again, it felt like he was unable to breathe.

His hair was longer than the last time he had played against him. Not long, but enough to comb your fingers through. Enough to grab onto.

Not that Neil would be doing either of those things. Definitely not.

Wymack realized Neil had stopped following him onto the court and turned to look at him, then dart his eyes back to Andrew who was already on the court next to Kevin. Figures.

“You alright kid?” Wymack asked.

It took a lot of effort, but Neil was able to rip his eyes away from Andrew and turn his stare to Wymack. He made sure to keep his expression blank, unbothered. “I’m fine.”

“Jesus Christ,” Wymack mumbled under his breath “back to this ‘fine’ bullshit.” He uses air quotes and everything.

Neil didn’t answer, just blinked, his expression not changing. When Wymack raised an eyebrow Neil merely blinked again. Wymack rolled his eyes, grumbled something about still not making enough, and marched the rest of the way onto the court.

He stopped in the middle. “Alright everyone, now that we’re all here let’s make some introductions! Line up at the half line.” 

Everyone did as they were asked. Neil and Andrew both taking a spot at separate ends of the line. Neil sees Matt walk up next to him and offers his friend a small smile. He feels a lot better knowing he has a friend here. Knowing he still has a friend at all.

“Now, I know you all should know each other, but I’ll quickly say everyone’s name and position, feel free to step forward when yours is called. This is not a time for chit chat, that can be done later when practice is done.”

“Yes coach,” was chorused among the players.

“Andrew Minyard, goalkeeper.” Andrew stepped forward, which surprised Neil. He would’ve thought he’d refuse to participate. Being that Neil was watching him closely, he saw the moment that Andrew’s eyes flicked towards him and he froze. Andrew’s face was expressionless as he quickly gave the finger in Neil’s direction and then went back in line. He heard some chuckles and even got a pat on the back from Matt next to him. Seems other players were just as amused by the famous animosity between the players as everyone else was. Just fucking great.

Neil could tell that his mask of indifference was slipping into one of anger. Just like Andrew to act like an angry fucking teenager instead of a grown ass adult. Andrew never did know how to handle himself when he actually felt something.

 _”Fuck you_ Wesninski. _” Andrew snarled knowing how deep that would cut him. How it wouldn’t just be a stab in the heart, but a twist of the knife, and in that moment Neil hated him. God, he fucking hated him._

Wymack continued to read the names but Neil barely heard them. Blood was rushing through his ears and he tried to temper down his anger.

Who the _fuck_ did Andrew think he was? As if he was guiltless. Like he was not just as much to blame for everything crashing and burning?

_Kevin Day, Striker  
Theodora Muldani, Backliner  
Jean Moreau, Backliner  
Leslie Reitter, Defensive Dealer  
Eric Johnson, Backliner  
Lydia Shetfield, Striker  
Martin Lindsor, Striker  
Rob Greenport, Backliner  
Wes Truman, Backliner  
Johnny Lakes, Defensive Dealer  
Jeremy Knox, Striker  
Christina Alvarez, Defensive Dealer  
Laila Dermott, Goalkeeper_

It’s only when the person next to him is called forward, and he gets knocked slightly as the man moves, that he snaps out of it and is brought back to attention.

“Matt Boyd, Backliner.” Wymack calls as the man in question steps forward.

In typical Matt fashion he beams at everyone and waves as he faces his teammates. Then he steps back into line.

“Neil Josten, Striker.” Wymack says and Neil hesitates before stepping out in front of his teammates. Fifteen people stare back at him, most smiling, some nodding. One person does not. Andrew has turned his head and is looking to the side.

That fucking prick.

Before he can stop himself the words are out. “Fuck you Minyard.”

His teammates freeze. Smiles slowly falling off their faces. He can see Wymack staring at the sky in exasperation, his teammates glance between Andrew and Neil. Matt looks at Neil with concern, Kevin looks at him with annoyance. No doubt he’s wondering how Andrew and Neil will hinder the team’s performance.

But Neil only has eyes for Andrew who turns his indifferent glance to Neil. He looks him up and down and then flashes his teeth.

“Run away little rabbit. It’s all you're good for.”

Neil feels his fingers curl into fists. How satisfying it would be to storm over to Andrew. To throw his arm out and let his fist connect with his nose. To watch him bleed. To hurt him. To make him feel the pain that he himself was feeling.

Neil’s fist relaxed at his side. No matter how much he hates Andrew, he would never lay a hand on him. He would never add himself to the list of men who did.

No, he wouldn’t touch him. But there were other ways you could hurt a man.

And Neil knew all the ways to hurt this one.

“Why would I run from you? You are _nothing._ ” He threw as much disdain as he could into the last word.

_”You are something Andrew. This is something. You will never be nothing, not to me.”_

Neil swore he saw Andrew’s eyes flash, with what he couldn’t be sure, he was too far away. He did not miss the way Kevin’s eyes turned icy.

After Neil had made the deal with Ichirou, Kevin was able to breathe. He no longer had to worry about Riko, or anyone else coming after him. Especially not with Riko dead. He was able to view Andrew beyond just a bodyguard, and a goalkeeper. They had actually become friends.

Or as friendly as two people like Andrew and Kevin could be.

Kevin didn’t know how much what he said would hurt Andrew. But he knew it would hurt.

Kevin never knew what happened between Neil and Andrew. All he knew was that Neil had left. Had run. And that was enough for him to take Andrew’s side.

Andrew opened his mouth but Wymack stepped forward cutting him off. “I’m pretty sure I got a ‘yes coach’ from you Josten when I said no chit chat. So I expect no fucking chit chat. Get back in line.” Neil shot one last glare at Andrew, but he was no longer looking at Neil. “Today might be the first practice but that doesn’t mean I’m going easy on you. Everyone got either a Red or Blue pinnie when they came in, this is until I hand out the practice jerseys tonight. Red team, your on this side,” he pointed behind himself with his thumb, “blue team you’re on the other side. Lindsor, Greenport, Lakes, you three are first subs. Let’s see what kind of mess we are working with.”

Neil was just happy that he had Knox as his striker partner and didn’t have to worry about Kevin. His happiness was short lived though, because every time Neil took a shot on goal, Andrew was there. And he didn’t clear the ball, oh no. Instead he fired it right back at Neil’s face, or knees, or chest.

Neil remembered a time when Andrew had done something similar, firing balls at his teammates feet. Only Neil had been able to stop him.

_”Tell Coach to mind his pay grade._

_”Is this going to be a problem?”_

Neil hadn’t understood those comments at the time. Hadn’t understood why he alone was able to get him to stop.

Now Neil was no longer the someone who could calm down Andrew.

Now he was his trigger.

\--

After a scrimmage the length of a full game, practice came to an end. The red team won with Kevin as a striker, Jean as a backliner, and Andrew in their goal.

And Neil fucking _seethed._

“Mediocre practice, we have some work to do, but we are off to a decent start. I have everyone’s room assignment and key right here. I expect everyone to be at the gym by 6:00 A.M. sharp tomorrow, so go get some rest. If anyone is late I’m signing them up for a marathon. Oh, and welcome to the US team.”

\--

Neil was still seething so he let his teammates get their keys first. Matt knew his moods by now so he just told Neil he’d see him later and went to collect his key. Neil sat against the plexiglass and closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see his other teammates. Especially one in particular.

About ten minutes later he felt the presence of someone standing over him and cracked open his eyes to see Wymack.

“Is this going to be a problem?” He asked, and Neil wondered if he remembered asking that same question seven long years ago. If he too recognized how much had really changed since then.

Neil could feel emotions bubbling up and choked it down. He blinked.

“I don’t know.”

“The only answer I want to hear is no. Got that Neil? No. No problems this year.” When Neil only blinked back Wymack let out a huff. “Look. I put you two on opposite ends of the hall, so hopefully you don’t even have to interact with each other unless it’s on the court. I’ll talk to Andrew, get him to lay off the cheapshots. But, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, I need you to be the mature one and not engage with him like you did before.”

“But Coach, there were many things I could’ve said and that was the nicest option.” Neil could swear he saw a vein pulsing.

“I’m fucking retiring. I swear to god, after this year I’m fucking retiring. I’m giving the Foxes fully to Dan, and I’m done. I’m too old for this shit. Grey hair Josten, you give me grey fucking hair.”

“I’ll try.” Neil finally conceded. As much as he enjoyed messing with Wymack, he would never actively try to upset him. Not after everything they’d been through.

_”Help me.”_

_“Let me.”_

“But if he starts shit I am not backing down.”

Wymack eyed Neil and then sighed. “Then I guess we are fucking doomed.”

He gave Neil the key to his room and let him leave. Right as Neil reached the door to get off the court Wymack spoke again and Neil froze.

“What the fuck happened to you two?”

_“Tell me you’re not running. Promise me.”_

_“No more running. I promise. I’m done, I’m here for good.”_

_”Fuck you_ Wesninski.”

Neil didn’t answer, he just walked off the court.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like these two can never have a nice 'first' meeting. Oh well, we wouldn't love them so much if things were easy for them!
> 
> I want to thank everyone who left comments last chapter and gave this story kudos! I thrive under positive reinforcement, so this chapter came so quickly for you guys!
> 
> Up next we will get some more glimpses into the past, and see if Wymack was able to control Andrew's desire to pelt Neil with balls. Yes I meant it to sound like that.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil deals with seeing Andrew in the gym, being back in the nest, and Kevin all in one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy Exy Batman! I LIVEEEE!!!
> 
> Life has been hectic, and I have not been writing, (I have just been reading an insane amount of Andreil fic), but I promise I am not abandoning this story!

Neil walked into the gym at 5:45 the next morning and was not surprised to find that he was the first one there except for Wymack. After greeting his former--and current--coach he got himself situated on a treadmill.

He didn’t pause in his jog, not even to smile at Matt when he came in ten minutes later and took the machine next to him.

“Just on time Minyard.” He heard Wymack say and glanced at the clock to see it change from 5:59 to 6:00 exactly.

“Would I ever let you down Coach?” The lack of emotion in Andrew’s voice suggested that he would indeed be willing to let Wymack down. Wymack’s stare was fierce and he could hear his teammates chuckle. Could almost hear their thoughts. The thoughts of: of  _ course _ Andrew would let coach down. As if he cared who he upset.

Neil knew better.

Andrew had a lot of faults, and Neil had no problem pointing them out. But Neil knew that Andrew would never purposely let Wymack down. Just as he would never never let Wymack down.

And he knew that Wymack knew it too.

Wymack gave Andrew a nod and turned to address his team, telling them their workout plan for the day.

\--

Neil couldn’t help but watch Andrew as he lifted weights. It had been three years since Neil had watched Andrew lift weights and he had forgotten just how strong he was. But as he watched Andrew bench press, he felt his face flush as he noticed he was lifting more than Neil weighed.

And he made it look easy.

He tried to keep his eyes from drifting to the blonde, but they kept snapping back. Back at PSU watching Andrew lift weights had been his favorite view during morning practices at the gym. The way his biceps strained, but his face remained calm. Seeing how strong Andrew was always made him feel safe. Allowed his mind a chance to rest. To imagine staying.

After Andrew graduated, he did not workout around Neil often, preferring to keep their time separate from exy. In that year when Neil was able to watch Andrew on the court, or at the gym… well it always ended the same way.

\--

**Three and a Half Years Ago**

_ Neil had been excited to see Andrew, god had he been excited. It had been months since the last time they were able to do more than skype. Months since he had been able to be touched by him. To touch him. _

_ To see him for longer than a few hours at a time. _

_ Neil missed Andrew more than he thought possible. _

_ But he could not fully relax knowing he would see him, because he also knew this could be one of the last times they would meet like this. That Andrew might soon no longer want him. _

_ That he soon would run. _

_ “Stop thinking so hard. You’ll hurt yourself.” Andrew deadpanned as he lay down on the bench. _

_ Neil shook the thought from his head. Now was not the time to go down this road. If he didn’t have much time left with Andrew, he was going to enjoy it all. _

_ “Sorry.” Neil let his eyes meet Andrew’s and hold his gaze. Felt himself relax as he noticed the slight crease in Andrew’s brow that no one else would notice. Knew it meant that he was worried about Neil. Knew it meant someone cared about him. _

_ “Don’t say stupid things.” Andrew said after a pause. He was then silent, giving Neil the choice to decide whether he would share his thoughts or not. Andrew always gave Neil a choice. When he noticed Neil was not inclined to share, he gave a slight nod. “Spot me.” _

_ Neil walked over to Andrew as he picked up the weight. It was heavier than anything Andrew had ever lifted as a Fox and Neil felt his face flush. The slight twitch in Andrew’s upper lip showed that he knew what he was doing to the boy before him. _

_ Neil watched Andrew do his reps, paying close attention to his biceps and the way they flexed with each movement. By the time Andrew was done, his face was flushed and his breathing was coming out a little harder than normal. _

_ Neil was blown away by his beauty. _

_ “Staring.” Andrew said after a few heavy breaths. _

_ “It’s a view worth staring at.” Neil needed Andrew to know. _

_ “Idiot.” Andrew scowled while sitting up, but he couldn’t hide the way his ears turned pink. _

_ Neil straddled the other side of the bench so he was looking at Andrew, less than a foot away. _

_ “Yes or no?” Neil asked, lifting his hand and stopping it a breath away from Andrew’s face. _

_ Andrew’s eyes shuttered closed, and when he opened them again, they burned. _

_ “Yes.” _

_ And then Neil was leaning forward to touch Andrew’s lips with his own in a heated kiss, and it felt like coming home. _

_ \-- _

“Staring.” Neil shook away the memory and snapped his eyes up from Andrew’s arms to his eyes.

“Just surprised you can actually put effort into something.” Neil snapped back and faced ahead. He no longer had the right to stare at Andrew. He should no longer want to stare at him anyway. And he told himself he didn't. He could not let himself get distracted. He was here for Exy and Exy alone.

“Are you okay?” Matt asked as he joined Neil on the cardio equipment. By the concern in Matt’s voice, he knew he had been caught watching Minyard.

“I’m fine.” Neil snapped, not liking the concern in Matt’s voice. Not liking how weak it made him feel. How seen.

“Points for consistency.” Matt smirked and Neil felt himself relaxing at the familiar teasing. “You know I’m here if you need to talk. I know this must be hard for you.”

Neil rolls his eyes at his friend. “Matt, it’s been three years and I hate the guy. The only thing that’s hard about this is not slinging insults as soon as I open my mouth.”

Matt’s laugh was loud. “The day you stop slinging insults is the day I know you’re truly not fine.”

\--

Wymack decided to order in subs for lunch, forcing the entire team to stay together for their first full day of practice. The whole team was gathered in the lounge of the nest and Neil was surprised by how hard it was to be there.

The nest had changed. No longer were all of the walls black, increasing the feeling of claustrophobia. Since his freshman year when Neil had been forced to spend his Winter Break in the nest, it had changed. With Riko and Tetsuji gone, the nest had been transformed. The walls were now white with a thick red stripe running horizontal throughout the whole room. Only broken up by the giant raven painted in the center of the room.

When Neil saw the Raven symbol he froze.

_ “Kneel.” _

_ “Fuck you.” _

_ Riko smirked behind Tetsuji as the older man brought down his cane. _

“It’s so different, isn’t it?” Neil froze at the voice behind him. Shit. He had been lost in his head. Allowed someone to sneak up on him. How could he be so stupid.

_ Neil Josten, number 10, starting striker for the New York Dingos. Striker for the US Court. _

_ These are truths. _

With a deep breath he looks to Jean next to him quickly before glancing away. “It’s much better this way.”

“I have to agree.” The man says, his slight accent calming Neil. Jean had been his safety in the nest, and he grounded him. “It’s hard being back for us too. A lot of bad memories for all of us.”

“More for you two than me.” Neil points out, including Kevin in his statement, and Jean hums in acknowledgement.

“Just because we have more, it does not make yours less valid.” Neil fully turns to Jean and meets his eyes. “It is hard for Kevin and I too. We are here if you need to talk.”

Neil’s is sure the surprise is evident on his face. Since Jean left the nest and joined the Trojans, they had not spoken much, but had been civil. Most of their interactions had been when they played against each other in games, or when Renee had dragged him along when meeting with Neil and Andrew. He was always civil with the Frenchman, but had not seen him beyond games since he and Andrew ended. Jean went where Renee did, and while Renee made an effort to stay in contact with Neil, she was still Andrew’s best friend.

“I don’t think Kevin wants to talk to me.” Neil deadpanned with a glance in Kevin’s direction. The striker in question was sitting beside Andrew, but looking towards Neil and Jean, as if he knew what they were thinking. Beside him Andrew’s face looked bored, but his body was still as his narrowed eyes were focused on Neil.

“Kevin misses you. The fool is just too proud to say. Andrew was not the only one you hurt when you left Neil. Your foxes might not know what happened, but Kevin and I know.”

Neil’s eyes flash back to Jean’s and his body suddenly becomes rigid. His hands clenching at the accusation.

_ “Fuck you  _ Wesninski. _ ” _

_ A palm held out, open, empty. “Key. A runaway like you has no use for a home.” _

“You know  _ nothing _ .” There is a harshness to Neil’s voice, but it doesn’t startle Jean. He is used to much harsher people. “You only think you know.”

Neil glances behind him again to see that Andrew no longer looks his way, instead focused on the lunch now before him. Kevin is still tense at his side and staring at Neil and Jean, a look of pain and understanding in his eyes.

Neil leaves Jean behind and walks over to sit next to Matt and Jeremy at the table, thankfully they’re as far away from the other former foxes as they can get.

\--

**Three Years Ago**

_ “What the fuck have you done?” Neil held the phone to his ear, shocked by the venom in Kevin’s voice. _

_ “It doesn’t matter.” Neil replied. Voice emotionless, still unable to fully wrap his mind around what happened less than five hours ago. _

_ “Of course it matters Neil. Don’t do this. You don’t have to do this.” His voice was desperate, pleading. _

_ “Shut up Kevin. You have no idea what you’re talking about.” As if he wanted this? As if it wasn’t killing him to do what he was doing. _

_ “You’re making a mistake. Andrew-” _

_ “I don’t give a  _ fuck  _ about Andrew.” Lie. “It is done. I am leaving and nothing will change my mind Kevin.  _ Nothing. _ ” He had to run. He didn’t have a choice. He wouldn’t risk- no. He wouldn’t even think it. _

_ “You’re being a coward.” Kevin said after a long pause, and the laugh Neil gave was bitter. _

_ “Well then, I guess I learned more than exy from you.” Neil said with hatred in his voice. Knowing how deep that would cut. Kevin wasn’t a coward. At least, not anymore. That didn’t mean he didn’t still fear that he would revert back to that. _

_ “If you do this Neil, we are done.” Kevin spat. And Neil felt a manic smile take over his face. First Andrew, then Kevin. He wondered who he would lose next. His chest ached, but he ignored the feeling. _

_ “Then I guess we are done.” Neil snapped his phone shut before Kevin could make a retort, put the car in drive and slammed on the gas. _

_ He did not look back as he left Palmetto behind. _

\--

Neil is the last one to leave the showers after their afternoon practice. He no longer hides his scars from his teammates, mostly because he no longer can. None of the pro teams have stalls in the showers and everyone knows about his past now. Knows who his father was. Sees the scars he has on his face. Are not surprised to learn he has more.

His arms are aching from the effort he put into trying to score on Andrew today. Wymack purposely put the two against each other during all of their drills, knowing that it would be the one way to guarantee Andrew would give his all. Neil had not managed to score a single goal against him today, and he was still silently seething when he dressed.

Exiting the locker room, he was surprised to see Kevin waiting for him on a couch in the lounge. Even more surprised to see him there alone.

“Your bodyguard taking the night off?” Neil sneered at his former friend.

“Andrew is not my bodyguard.” Kevin said slowly as if Neil was dumb.

Neil knew Andrew was no longer a bodyguard to Kevin, that he was now a friend. Hell, they didn’t even play for the same team. It was still weird though to see them in the same location, but not together. They had barely left each other’s side since they all arrived the day before.

“So you’re talking to me then?” Neil asked, making his voice sound bored. “I thought you said we were done.”

Kevin’s eyes became icy, no doubt remembering their last real conversation. The day after Neil graduated from Palemtto.

Neil felt himself smirk at Kevin’s obvious anger, the clear annoyance on his face, something so familiar to him.

Kevin stood up and walked over to Neil, his six foot two frame towering over Neil’s height of five foot four. This was a power move that Kevin did well. Neil took a step back so he could look at Kevin without having to crane his neck.

“We are going to the olympics Neil. I will not let something as stupid as personal problems get in the way of our success. We need to be able to work together on the court.”

And Neil wanted to laugh at how  _ Kevin _ that statement was. Kevin Day would never allow anything as stupid as emotions to ruin his game. He felt a burst of fondness for the striker before him. The striker who, once upon a time, he had given his game to.

“I’m not the one you need to worry about.” Neil raised an eyebrow.

“I will handle Andrew.” Kevin said with a wave of his hand and Neil couldn’t hold in his snort. As if anyone could handle Andrew. “I need to know you can work with me. Can work with him. Will help us go all the way.”

Neil felt the fight leave him. “You know what this means to me Kevin. Nothing is more important to me than the game Kevin. Nothing. You know I will give it my all.”

Kevin’s eyes searched Neil’s and almost seemed saddened. “Six years ago I would’ve loved nothing more than to hear those words.”

Neil was confused. “And you’re not now?”

Kevin held his eye contact with Neil. “Now I realize there are more important things than exy.”

Neil’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. He knew he must have looked ridiculous, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. Kevin Day saying there was more to life than exy? What universe had he fallen into?

Eight years ago Neil had started to think there could be more to life than exy, had let himself believe it for his five years as a Fox. Had longed for it.

Had learned that that hope was a lie.

A pipe dream.

“For you maybe. For me, this is all there is.” Kevin’s eyes still looked sad, but he nodded his head and Neil hated him in that moment. Hated the understanding in his face. The sorrow. The pity.

“I know what Jean said to you today, and he’s right.” Kevin took a deep breath. “I know I have not been a friend to you these past three years. That I picked a side. I was hurt, and angry, and I still am. I can’t deny that. But we need to work together. And I know what it feels like to be back in this place. Jean is no longer your only ally in the nest.”

Neil’s teeth clenched as he listened to Kevin’s words.  _ He  _ was hurt?  _ He _ was angry? As if Neil had not lost everything and been hurt and angry too? As if Kevin had not thrown away their friendship as if it meant nothing?

“I will work with you Kevin, but do not mistake this for friendship. I might have walked away from Andrew, but it was you who walked away from me.”

And with that Neil pushed past a stunned Kevin, and up the stairs, out into the parking lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed getting some more insight into what's going on, and Neil's relationship with Kevin. Now that the ice has been broken, they will be able to start acknowledging each other more. And where there is Kevin, there is Andrew.
> 
> Can we appreciate how put together Kevin seems? And saying there is something more important than Exy?! The last three years have been good to our boy.


End file.
